Ladd Wendelin. Bingo!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

So now then...

This is how it went...

Last night was only the biggest costumed success I've ever experienced. Arriving at the Chatterbox, my sister greeted me enthusiastically. Per my most humble request, she dressed as Gala, Dali's muse and wife. As soon as we walked into the Chatterbox together, heads turned; it was like Cinderella at the ball. Of course, I was shouting aloud, "BEHOLD! ONE AND ALL! THE GREAT DALI HAS ARRIVED!" It was amazing! People, some strangers, approached me with hugs and smiles as though I was a long-since departed friend, recently returned, of whom they had not seen the likes of in quite some time but had fond memories of. Dali came through, let me say that. As I made my rounds, seeking out my friends, decked out in their respective tributes to Donnie Darko, Dali shouted and romped about the room with wild glee and unhibited abandon, "YOU ARE ALL FRIENDS OF DALI! I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO EVERYONE IN THE ROOM!"

There is a certain possession of the spirit that one assumes when you don such a costume, and become such a character. It was almost like a guaranteed anonymity. I could say anything, do anything as Dali that Ladd wouldn't nessecarily dream of doing. It was free, liberating, and after 2 draws of High Life and Pabst Blue Ribbon, well... In any case, my point being here, the response to my costume was amazing! It was definitely the best Halloween I've had in almost 2 years. There's a costume party tonight I'll attend as Dali, and after my court appearance on Monday, I hope I am afforded the time to don my costume at work for the costume contest, although I'm not sure how that's going to work out. Maybe I won't afterall. Who knows.

My pals the Prints of Apple Island played one of their best shows ever. Their theme this time around was Donnie Darko. It was phenomenal. Here's the rundown: Theo, Josh, and Tim all dressed as Donnie. Josh had the skeleton outfit w/ hoodie. Theo had a hoodie on, his hair colored black, and had the 28:06:42:12 written in sharpie on his arm. Olivia had an amazing costume on. She was Grandma Death, Roberta Sparrow. Not only had she faithfully fashioned a wig to resemble Grandma Death's wild hair, but had a mailbox, which she constantly checked during the set for NO reason. Also, Olivia had really gone the extra mile by devoting her time this week to constructing the jet engine from the film which nearly misses killing Donnie in the beginning after it crashes through the roof. The engine hung above the band throughout the set.

The cou de gra of all of this spectacle was Robert's costume. He was Frank, the 6 foot bunny rabbit. He created a ruckus from the crowd when he appeared on stage just as the set began. Sarah had made his costume from scratch and it was flipping AMAZING. The mask, a full figured costume, everything, it was totally hot hot hot. Underneath his rabbit mask, Robert had a grizzly eyepatch on, Frank's shattered eye, and a black wig on, which I donated for the cause. In the meandering half-light, he looked exactly like Frank. Anyway, It was an incredible set. They covered Tears for Fears "Head Over Heals," The Church "Under the Milky Way," and as a finale, the parred down, Donnie Darko rendition of "Mad World." Josh said he forgot the lyrics halfway through it, but most everyone was singing to it, so it worked out in the end.

So it goes. HAPPY HALLOWEENIE WEEKEND!

Oh yeah, that Most Haunted Live thing I mentioned... 4 hour live broadcast four nights in a row. The first one was last night, and they featured hauntings at Tower Bridge. Pretty cheeky. In addition to the MH crew, Evey, Derek, all of them, they also had a live studio audience. Here's what really cracked me up: They had a sort of live/interactive/multimedia thing where you could e-mail the crew observations/premonitions and a couple viewers from the UK, from places which looked or sounded like Surrey, Bosley, or Belfast (British sounding places) would send in messages which would scroll across the bottom of the screen. So as the crew was exploring the walkways across Tower Bridge, really stupid messages would scroll across that read: DANA IN SCARBOROUGH THINKS THE NAME CHARLIE WILL BE IMPORTANT IN TONIGHT'S INVESTIGATION....WILLARD AND BETH IN STRATFORD BELIEVE THE CREW MAY ENCOUNTER A HENRY ON THE BRIDGE, AND MAY FIND SOME SIGNIFICANCE OF THE NUMBER 32 TONIGHT.... Or this classic: RICHARD IN BLACKPOOL SAYS THE COLOR RED WILL BE IMPORTANT TO THE INVESTIGATION ON THE BRIDGE....
So, yes, what a bunch of bullshit. "OOOOOO, premonitions! I'm getting something OH OH OH, no, its my bout with gas. Somebody pass the Beano! False alarm everyone!" So in addition to viewer's hokey predictions scrolling across the screen, the MH crew was joined by MAX, THE GHOST-DETECTING GERMAN SHEPHERD! Max barked a few times at thin air, but otherwise I'm starting to believe this whole Most Haunted Live thing is just another one of those choochy, smarmy, cheezy, wishy-washy, slightly pompous, mostly over-rated things the British seemingly "pride" themselves on. Hopefully, by Monday night, they'll find Jack the Ripper's malevolent spirit, and if they do, I won't be suprised. If Max the ghosthunting dog can bark up the wrong tree whenever he sees a ghost, perhaps that's what the Most Haunted crew is attempting at the same time. Barking up the wrong tree when there's nothing there and the only thing they're really accomplishing is making a spectacle of themselves and the "exacting" science of paranormal investigation. I much prefer the hour-long episodes anyway. Four hours, live, for the next four nights, bullshit...The suspense is killing me... www.mosthauntedlive.net

Friday, October 28, 2005

NIGHT OF LIVING DALI!

TONIGHT! TONIGHT! AND TONIGHT, DEAR FRIENDS! THE VERY SPIRIT OF DALI, RESURRECTED FROM ITS VELVETY TOMB AND MADE MANIFEST IN THE BODY OF LADD N. WENDELIN, THE GREAT SALVADOR DALI WILL AGAIN WALK THE EARTH, AND INTO THE CHATTERBOX, WHERE, IN A FEAT OF ASTONISHING BAVURA, HE WILL DRINK DEEP OF PABST BLUE RIBBON AND WIN THE HEARTS OF ALL THOSE PRESENT!

I'm nervous. What if people don't know who I am, or who I'm trying to be?

DO NOT BE AFRAID, DEAR BOY! BE A MAGNATE! DRAW ATTENTION AND STARVE THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO PINE FOR YOU! THE GREAT DALI NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION!

You make me nervous. You take about 20 minutes even to "put on," and it won't be til after rehearsal tonight, and I might miss the band!

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT? ARRIVING ON TIME OR ARRIVING AT ALL?!!?!

Well, I guess it's more important to arrive rather than to arrive on time!

THERE, YOU HAVE DONE IT! NOW IF ONLY YOUR EYES WERE NOT SO BLUE! IF ONLY THEY COULD COMMUNICATE THE SWIRLING BLACKNESS OF MY OWN!

Yeah, that would be nice. Call me cheap, but contact lenses are expensive these days, especially if they're only for amusement.

VERY WELL! YOUR WORDS BEGUILE ME! YOU ARE EITHER COMMITTED TO THE MEMORY OF DALI, OR NO!

Believe me, I am. I am. It's just, you know...I don't want to look silly. I want people to take me seriously.

PEOPLE NEVER TAKE DALI SERIOUSLY! AND FOR THAT MATTER, I HAVE BESTED MANY BUMBLEBEE COSTUMES IN MY TIME!

Right, fuck bumblebee costumes!

YES, NOW GO! FOR TONIGHT, TONIGHT, TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT OF LIVING DALI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[My hope is by next week to have some digital pictures of my Dali costume. I'd like to post some here, also at www.costumecritic.com. We shall see, MAHALO!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

jack-o-lattern grin


Today's news presented in verse.

Another Wednesday...
A little over a week until I'm paid again.
I wore a tie to work Thursday. I wore a tie today. People think I overdress.
To confess, it makes me feel like I'm going someplace in life.
1185 calls handled in Sept. 2005. Hot dog!
No new music to listen to. Have been listening to the Suf, Belle & Sebastian,
Decemberists for weeks now.

Decided that if I ever had to put a bumper sticker
On my car, it would be a general statement that would not
Polarize everyone, or make them feel a certain way, but could
Be something that everyone might respect and consider. It would read:
SUPPORT THE ARTS
[In bold letters.]
I think I'll do that next week.

I scratched my ear.
I bled for a few minutes, then stopped.
I hate that. My blood tastes salty and red.

Spending too much money on comic books.
I particularly like Alan Moore & James Kochalka.
Although I've been following Spider-Man closely
Since this past summer. Even so, he doesn't seem
very real to me.
I just want to see what will happen next...
It's comforting to know that Aunt May and Mary Jane
Know about him now, and they have no secrets to hide
Between them...

You know what I like about Halloween?
The feeling that things are not what they seem.
Trees are heathens adorned with twigs
That dance and sway in the pagan wind
That owes its allegiance to no one.

Olivia, if you get that tatoo of the squid
and the whale, how will you know if the
tatoo artist will preserve the detail of my
original drawing? He will spend hours on it,
But it will not be the same.

We are winning the war against trees.