RANDOM BITS_

I have to take a moment to speak of probably one of my favorite shows on PBS, that being Rick Steves' Europe. Rick Steves is a noted tour guide/travel conneseiur and he's particularly notable for his slanted take on experiencing Europe "through the backdoor"...'A sodomist!' you might declare, but alas, he is not a sodomist. "Through the backdoor" refers to his approach to seeing the great locales and sights of Europe, not through what EVERYONE sees (i.e. Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower), but through directly interacting with locals, sampling various foodstuffs, and participating in the culture of Europe. Watching his shows on PBS isn't just a charming incentive to go to Europe, but an education in geography! While he's only made 59 episodes, each detailing a different region in Europe, from the Pyrnees to Prague, from Dublin to Burgundy, Steves makes each episode a treat to behold. He seems to capture the untold, or hidden side, of each place he visits. He rumminates about the historical or cultural significance of a certain place (exp. Prague is the home of Europe's oldest Jewish community, or Dublin converted to the Euro in 2002, rejuvinating its capitalist economy). I'd encourage anyone with a remote fondness or interest in Europe to check out his series on PBS (NET1 or NET3 on cable). It's great fun to watch!

Halloween is a special time for me, because its gives me an excuse to create my own costume away from the environs of the theatre. I like to make my costumes noticable and worth the look, like Dali last year. In a way, they're like art projects for me. I like spending time on them and see what comes of it. For this year, I've come up with a few ideas:
1. Shakespeare
Probably the most "doable" idea, and the one that people will probably recognize out in public. Still, I can't help but feel that it won't be too much of a challenge. Still, me...in tights...Sweet mama baby daddy. :-)
2. V from 'V for Vendetta'
Probably the most costly idea. I'd need to a get a mask, hat, wig, cape, black apparel. i'd do away with the daggers, because I don't want to look like some freak comic book geek whose replica costuming has to be to the book. Besides, what the hell would I do with several daggers on my belt? Hurt people? I like the side of V that is a protectorate of culture, the arts, ideas (i.e. The Shadow Gallery).
3. Little Edie from the documentary film 'Grey Gardens'
Sure, I'd have to dress as a semi-fashionable middle aged woman. But it'd be fun! I have the Massachussets socialite accent down. But people probably wouldn't know who I am. Charming idea, but it will have to stay charming, and only an idea...

I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight besides watching 'Most Haunted...
Speaking of 'MH', I'm convinced that this whole ghost thing is a load of rubbish. However, on last week's episode, they recorded live footsteps tromping across the floorboards of an attic in an old guild hall in Leiscester. Still, Derek is hard to take seriously. Sure, he arrives with no prior knowledge of these locations, but when he says things like, "I detect the prescence of an old woman...she's giving me the date of 'one'..'six'....'seven'....'two'....and she is a good soul...I feel as though she is looking you over, inspecting you, as it were. She was a .... nurse ....perhaps a midwife of sorts...", "Can you give us a name?" ... "Can you give us a name, Sam (Sam is Derek's spirit world contact)?"...."I'm getting a E- Liza- Elizabeth...ELIZABETH!"
Now, examing such a phrase as that, there are only a few ways to go about proving that Derek was even correct. One way is through historical record. If there is indeed record of a nurse or midwife recorded in the property's history sometime on or around 1672 named Elizabeth, it would validate Derek's supernaturally inspired claims, and give credit to Derek's so-called "abilities" as a spirit medium. However, Derek could be a very good actor, a man simply feeding off the vibes of a particular "haunted" environment and performing for the Most Haunted crew at the at-home viewers. With no way to validate the claims, historically or from some primary or secondary source or otherwise, Derek is no better than a two-bit entertainer, a charleton, a man skilled at illiciting emotions and the appropriate responses from people with very vulnerable minds, susceptible to suggestion. Imagination is a powerful thing, especially when it comes to play in an alledgedly haunted house with a bloody or tumultuous history.
I only watch 'Most Haunted' for the history. British history fascinates me, maybe more so than say China or Russia's history. It's a long and lavish history filled with brooding and vengeful royals, civil conflict and glorious reigns, insipid characters and also those of grace and dignity who believed in the common good and rights for all. Each place they visit in 'Most Haunted' is somehow connected with these very people and events. It's absolutely fascinating, and for that, 'MH' is a valuable show to watch. However, if you have an active imagination, and love a good scare, they've got that territory convered too. Derek performs such fetes of unblievable gal effortlessly. Another show worth checking out if only for its entertainment value. Still....sometimes, stuff on the show that they capture is hard to explain. While they've never been able to capture a fully manifest ghost, bumps in the night, floating tables during seances are hard to explain. Well, shit happens...

Mahalo!

American Idle or THE CHILDREN'S CRUSADE

While I normally post on the American Idol message boards, only to find out that my posts go rarely viewed because most people are there to post such ubiquitous jibberings such as 'O ACE U R 2 HOT!!!!!!!' or 'TAYLOR TOTALLY SUX! HE NEEDS TO GO OFF UV THEE SHOW!!!!'. Today, I will treat my regular readers with my predictions for tonight's elimination show, and also comment on the frontrunners thus far...

BY THE WAY (if only to prove the size of my inflated ego): On last week's elimination show, I predicted SWAY, DAVID, HEATHER, and MELLISSA would get the boot on the AI message boards. I was 3 for 4! Let's see how well I do tonight, I, Mr. Mystique the All-Knowing!

ELIMINATION SHOW: (3/9)

THE GUYS:
Kevin
Will

ON NOTICE: Bucky

By now, I think the show is proving that the competition belongs to the more experienced/seasoned performers, with a few exceptions (i.e. Kellie, Paris). On the guy's side, much like the ill-fated Children's Crusade of the Middle Ages' Crusades, Kevin and Will have only gotten as far as they have through sheer luck, and nothing more. They should feel fortunate, because now the voting audience, if they have any consciousness, are going to vote these luck-children off the show, and send them packing back to where they belong: HOMEROOM, their tiny faces buried in the latest issue of Highlights for Kids. Kevin maturely handled Don McLean's "Starry Night" as if trapped in a Brady Bunch tribute episode. You can just imagine Florence Henderson smilling serenely at him from the across the room. Meanwhile, Will sang a smarmy rendition of Gaye's "How Sweet It Is...". May the go the way of last week's castoff David Radford. As I mentioned on the AI boards last week, if Kevin and Will are lucky, they'll make it back home in time for the spring musical auditions. Imagine Kevin warbling "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and Will sporting a ravishing British accent when he sings "The Street Where You Live" from My Fair Lady. What unmitigated bliss. Sorry guys, but the competition belongs to the strong. Time to go. Fine'.

Bucky is on notice in my book. While his country renditions have been servicable at best, they are nothing really compared to some of the songs tackled by Gideon (a rising star in the competition) and Taylor. Despite the whole "I've got a twin!" trump card, and the backwoodsy approach to his performance persona, Bucky may not last this week's competition, and if not this week's, next week Bucky may be axed.

THE GALS:
Kinnik
Mellissa

ON NOTICE: Ayla

You earned America's good graces last week, Mellissa, you taudry mistress of song! But not this week! Oh no... This week is you week to go. You cannot impress me with another droll Heart song. Let's face it. By now, those that own the AI competition are the ones that are actually entertaining to watch, connect with the song, and perform as if they've had years of experience, at least. Mellissa, Kinnik, and Ayla for that matter, do not bespeak of any of those qualities. And Ayla, for that matter, I am sick to tears of hearing about her jaded "born with a golden spoon in her mouth" lifestyle. Her father is a Senator, her mother is a newscaster, and she is a all-star high school basketball player. Plus, she's tall enough to be Paul Bunyan's wench! Are these traits the making of a pop star? Methinks not. Ayla, you may make it to next week, but watch out. There are far greater talents on the ladies side of the competition than you. Your bright smile, cheery looks, and 'I'm #1' attitude will only get your slimy looks as far as the toilet bowl lid if you're not careful! You're on notice.


*******

RANDOM BITS_

Okay, moving on... So, who's forgotten about the Oscars already? I have! To me, they were so forgettable, they're already a distant memory. I mean seriously, It's like they happened a year ago, and it will be another year before an Oscar ceremony worth remembering comes along. Aye me. I was not impressed. And poor Lauren Bacall. In my mind, I imagine a Christmas goose, its feathers unplucked, charred into a misshapen and unrecognizable form. Sad.

I bought my desk yesterday. It's glorious. However, I discovered the little post-it note the sales lady had put on the desk marking it as "SOLD" had actually eaten some of the finish off where the adhesive on the note stuck to the desk. Oh well. Like a well-worn pair of Adidas, such scuffs and tarnishments only add to the character of the desk, or a pair of shoes. But believe me, it looks glorious. I can just imagine some old cotcher like Dickens, Tennyson, or Hemmingway sitting at a desk very similiar to the one I have penning prose so melifluous, it causes mass immaculate misconception in all the womenfolk of the village. Their wombs were filled with song and the flutter wings of snow-white doves!!!

I am a huge Alan Moore fan, and am convinced that at his best, although he is a comic book writer, his genius is a contemporary of, dare I say it, Shakespeare's (had they have written at the same time, of course). For those untutored in his works, he is the author of "From Hell", "Watchmen", "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", and "V for Vendetta" which will arrive in theatres next week as a full blown spectacle of visual bravura and brooding peformances by Hugo Weaving (Agent Smith from the Matrix) as the terroristic philosopher V, and Natalie Portman as the waifish Evie Hammond, who joins V to save Britian from a fascist state. Purists, and Alan Moore himself, have shunned Hollywood's rampage of his works because they are at best unfaithful to the original source material. One need to look no further than the stylish, yet boorish debicle that is "From Hell" starring Johnny Depp and Heather Graham (yuck, she's the worst actress ever), and "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" starring Sean Connery, who played Alan Quatermain well, but was victim to too many explosions in one film and a stupid retelling of Moore's storyline. Moore, in a fit, had his name removed from the production credits, and from the production all together of 'V for Vendetta', but by the sound of some of these early review, perhaps he'll be wishing he hadn't. The wacky Wachowski Bros. (oddball creators of the Matrix trilogy, also forgettable) are producers and also wrote the screenplay. Beings they are heralded as comic book geek kings, it only stands to reason that perhaps they would do justice to Moore's original material, and not shy away from moments, for example, when V is dispatching some baddies while gleefully reciting a passage from Macbeth. I will probably go see V for Vendetta in hopes that, despite his name being intentionally excluded from the credits, Alan Moore won't totally be forgotten by the time final frame flashes across the screen.

Besides, V kicks ass.

"Remember, remember, the fifth of November..."

Oscarzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

I was bored, frankly.

But last night in Hollywoodland, Oscar deigned one or two suprises, maybe.

WHAT SUPRISED ME:

- 'Crash' winning Best Picture...
The big SUPRISE that even after the announcement, all the press was immediately chirping away at Brokeback Mountain's upset for Best Picture. I was almost sure it would go to Brokeback Mountain, but perhaps Oscar voters favored Brokeback as more of an intellectual achievement than a commercial champion. It picked up best Original Score (beating out Williams' 'Geisha'), best Adapted Screenplay (good for McMutry), best director (Lee, whom I was sure would never return to form after the debicle that was Hulk). I haven't seen Crash, but perhaps now I will. On a personal note, most of this gritty crime drama, urban culture, race issues, pimp/whore bullshit really turns me off. I don't relate to it, or understand it in anyway. This includes the pimpalicious 'Hustle & Flow' which probably only earned best Song because Oscar voters saw that the title of the song had the word 'Pimp' in it. Wowie... I'm not impressed. To me, this whole hip-hop culture is shallow and only involves those who live life in the streets, etc. It doesn't appeal to me at all, and perhaps this is why I haven't seen crash yet.

-'Wallace and Grommit' wins best Animated Feature...
Winning an Oscar could be seen as a reflection of the popular vote of a certain group of Hollywood elitists (the Academy members). I shouldn't be suprised here, but in a way I am. Tim Burton certainly works within his own little world/idiom, but you think after nearly 25 years of making some of the most odd and memorable pictures in cinema (Batman, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands), Oscar would give Tim Burton his due with Corpse Bride. Nay, and just I as I suspected, the "popular vote" went to Wallace and Grommit. I haven't seen W&G yet, but it looks just as wild and imaginative as Corpse Bride. I'd still vouch for Corpse Bride as being much more refined graphically and elegant. Still, it looks like Oscar voters went with the instant crowd pleaser. The Oscar is a high honor, but in 20, 30 years, it will be the work of Tim Burton that most people will remember is my guess, not some cheeky British clay puppets.

-Lauren Bacall stutters through her tribute to film noir...
If she has something like Parkinsons, some condition that limits her motor abilities, then she cannot help it. But last night, one of Hollywood's last great greats delivered her tribute to film noir as if at an optometrist's office, and she had a hard time reading the eye chart (or in the case of the Oscars, a teleprompter). It was kind of sad, suprising, to say the least, as she struggled with words and fought to even get the montage clip. At one point, it would seem like she'd just give up, or be escorted off the stage. It was like watching a graceful, aged swan in flight suddenly spontaneously combust and plummet to earth, a pile of charred white feathers and ashes. Even while watching the annual 'In Memoriam' portion of the ceremony, with images of the likes of Anne Bancroft posed in slow motion, I couldn't help but feel like the Golden Age of Hollywood is long dead, a mummified creaton whose counterparts are slowly fading into old age and obscurity.

-Don Knotts AWOL from 'In Memoriam'
Oh yeah, speaking of 'In Memoriam', where the fuck was DON KNOTTS! 'The Incredible Mr. Limpett', 'The Ghost and Mr. Chicken'... C'mon Oscar! Maybe he fell by the wayside, and Oscar has strict "Must Die Between Such-and-Such Dates" guidelines for inclusion in the 'In Memoriam' MONTAGE!

WHAT DID NOT SUPRISE ME...

-Phillip Seymour Hoffman wins Best Actor...
It was a gimme, and he truly deserved it. His win did not suprise me, but his acceptance speech did, because it was probably the most unremarkable acceptance speech from a Best Actor winner in a few years. Last year, Jamie Foxx extolled the wisdom of his late-grandmother with great aplomb. This year, Hoffman thanked his mother (single, who raised him and his 3 other siblings alone), and then preceeded to invite everyone in the audience to thank her for raising him. Sure. Okay. This would be most effective if the Oscars were held on Mother's day, then everyone would have a good reason to thank everyone elses mother for raising such a bright young actor! You know, he's a brilliant actor, and Capote was the role of a lifetime for Hoffman. But for someone of such intellectual credit, he had the oppurtunity, as did any winner last night, to create an Oscar moment, one that would be worth showing in a montage of great acceptance speeches during the Oscars in the coming years. Perhaps Hoffman should be recognized for his straightforward approach and simplicity. However, for one of the strongest nominees in his category, he could have done better in terms of an acceptance speech.

-John Stewart
Before the telecast commenced, Stewart assured the press there would be no suprises during the show, when he took the stage. No brash political commentary, no scathing rants about the current administration, nothing out of sorts. And he delivered. Stewart played the part of the Oscar emcee with a certain relaxed coolness. Sure, there were some funny moments (esp. when Stewart motioned to the giant blue Oscar statue behind him, asking the audience if there would be "democracy in Hollywood...if we pulled it down?"), but nothing the audience in the Kodak Theatre responded too with gut-busting abandon. It was rather droll, and Stewart held over the audience like a guest speaker giving an after dinner speech, as if everyone was bellyfull, stuffed, and needed a jolly anecdote or story to allow for digestion. Unlike Whoopi, Billy Crystal, or Carson, Stewart didn't seem to realize the gravity of the event. He acted and carried himself no different than he does nightly on the Daily Show. I enjoyed him as a host, but I was not suprised. As each award was handed out, the evening slipped into the comfortable confines of mediocrity.

-MONTAGES!
Next to studded starlets in glistening gowns, strapping actors in too-tight suits, Jack Nicholson (whom Kiera Knightly was lovingly sat next to ((in my fancies, Jack has one too many Scotch on the rocks and drunkenly woes Knightly, whom immediately takes to his advances))), Oscar night just wouldn't be Oscar night with a MONTAGE! (Cue the one song from Team America: World Police) Appropriate but boorish were the "tributes" to select film genres...the EPIC, the SOCIALLY/POLITICALLY RELEVANT film, the FILM NOIR... Somewhere, deep within the vaults of a Hollywood cemetary, Billy Wilder couldn't care less.

IN GENERAL...
This year's Oscar ceremonies yielded too few suprises to keep a general audience absolutely riveted for 3+ hours. I'd like to thank my DVR for making the evening seem that much more tolerable. The winners in their respective categories were all too easy to pick out as winners. How could Hoffman loose? Who wouldn't resist for rosy-cheeked beauty of Witherspoon? How could Clooney not walk away without atleast one Oscar for either Syriana or Good Night...? How could a song with the word PIMP in the title not get best Original Song in a category with only 3 nominees? How could a RAP song with the word PIMP in the title possibly loose to another yelping Dolly Parton tune? Last night's Oscars just made sense, and those that took home a little golden man deserved it, beyond a shadow of a doubt.