1. see maybe i'm dumb, but i don't understand computer humor. oh haha. the chasm that seperates a pentium II from a celeron. oh haha.

2. coming soon! "i am a pterodactyl" vol. 1 of a three volume vhs set! the ladd wendelin acting method will teach you how to be a pterodactyl! immitate infamous dictators of WWII! enact various foriegn accents, including british, chinese, and african tribal! all set to delightful jazz piano accompaniment. "just this morning, I decided that if ever I was to make a large sum of money, I was only going to do it in a way which I enjoyed earning it. so i came up with an idea for an acting method, not engaging process, but presentational styles. the key is to believing you are...musolini, for example. or bette davis. and never giving up on your illusions. imagination is the key. and you either have it or you don't. and if you don't, i've got a pair of wireframe glasses and a faceful of red-fleshy pimples for you."

3. talk about speaking into your boot! what a jackass!

4. i knew outkast would win album of the year. if you haven't got speakerboxxx/the love below yet, we have a problem. i'm very happy for them and their art. being in atlanta this october gave me a strong sense of the context from which their music sprang. i miss the atl. but home is home for us gnomes.

5. this valentine's day is going to be the best ever. dig it.

6. happy merry f()cking munday.

7. www.americanelf.com

8. www.fark.com

9. tra-la-la

10. i am convivial.